Identified by my mustache - in a way that is not good

I discovered something rather disturbing tonight when looking at an online review at the restaurant where I work my second job. It criticized my performance and then identified me by saying, "Our server (a gentlemen with a large mustache)" - clearly identifying me as no one else there has a mustache that can be considered large. Here's the review in its entirety (with the town and restaurant name smudged out).

What happend to the Evil Left Side

When the mustache looks this good, why wax?

My evil left side has somehow decided to behave lately.  Sure, it still corkscrews a bit, but it is developing a nice curl to match the right.  I am finding at this length, the mustache is getting easier to style and maintain.  Today's picture shows it complete au natural.

Last night was a good mustache night at the restaurant. 

It started with a new busser who I met - who is probably around 17.  He said,  "I want to grow a mustache like yours ... It's really awesome".

The lady at one of my tables said "Nice mustache" as I greeted them, and I got a similar comment by someone who was on his way to be seated as he walked by me.

I also got a $100 tip on a $200 check.  I don't know if the mustache contributed to the tip or not,  but it did not hurt.

With a mustache like that you must have a dog

Today's mustache with tips out and just a curled at the very ends.

Just a couple of stories of living with a handlebar mustache.

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Crossing the street at a traffic light I heard "Awesome Mustache!"  a young man shouted from the window of a turning pickup truck with a couple of teenagers inside.

I smiled and waived an OK sign

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In line with a man at Walmart:

"I just wanted to tell you that you have a terrific mustache"

"Thank you"

"How long have you been growing it?"

"About four months"

"I wish that I could grow one"

"I am sure that you could.  Just let it grow"

It's not that hard guys.  If you can produce a mustache by not shaving, you can grow a handlebar.

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At the steakhouse where I wait tables:

"I am done with my plate" said the customer.

"May I box up the steak so that you can take it with you."

"No, I am just visiting and I don't have a place to put it.  But why don't you take it, you can feed it to your dog ... Surely with a mustache like that, you have a dog"

"I don't have a dog, but if I did, what kind of dog would I have?"

"I would say an Alaskan Malamute"

"Hmm... with a mustache like mine, I though that you would say a Schnauzer"

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At another table spoken by a middle aged woman.

"You look very good in that mustache.  Elegant and dignified"

Mustache and Trinity necktie knot

Mustache waxed but not curled, and trinity knotted necktie

Last night I styled the mustache with no curl, but not quite an English Style, and also tied the neck tie as a trinity knot.  I can never get anyone to comment on the Trinity knot, but as usual I did get mustache comments.  This was the first time where an acquaintance whom I know pretty well did not immediately recognize me due to the mustache.  Once she did, she said that I looked really good in it.

Mustache and the Eldridge Knot

Mustache and necktie with Eldridge knot

As mentioned in my last post, I make myself unique among the staff at the restaurant by wearing and awesome handlebar mustache and using fancy knots for my necktie.  Here is how I looked at the restaurant tonight with the mustache in curls and the necktie in an Eldridge knot.

After Sam's rather brutal suggestion that I lose the mustache earlier in the day, I was starting to ask questions of myself.  Does wearing both unusual facial hair and strangely tied neckwear make me look cool or eccentric?  Have I crossed a line to where I am weird and a freak show which cannot be taken seriously? 

Lose the mustache

This morning's mustache - au natural - after being told to lose it

 

 

When dropping of a key at another office, Sam who works there saw me from the desk and said, “Is that John with a handlebar mustache?”

“Yes, this is John with a handlebar mustache.”

“Lose the mustache." he frankly said, "It puts you in the league of those who wear ascots and Tam o' Shanters.” (I had to Google these to see what these even were).  “Keep the goatee but lose or trim the mustache?”

Prussian Mustache

Today I decided to go to the opposite extreme of the day before and wear the mustache with the ends tightly curled.  Among the comments that I received was that looked "very Prussian" with the mustache.
 

I replied by saying "thank you" not knowing if a Prussian appearance was a good thing or not.  Though in the context it would be very unusual to be anything but complimentary.  The conversation then switched to my ancestry and if I was of Prussian decent.
 

When I got home I decided to look up Prussian mustache online to see exactly what one looked like. All I could find was articles stating that Hitler preferred a big "Prussian mustache" to the toothbrush style that he wore, but made the change during World War One to enable him to wear a gas mask with a tight seal.  Thankfully he did not corrupt and permanently destroy this style the same way he did with his iconic mustache even though the articles did show a picture of a young Hitler wearing a handlebar.
 

Beyond that, I still don't know what a Prussian mustache looks like beyond perhaps the way I looked tonight.

"Mr. Follicle" says that he can't grow a mustache like mine! Really?

Close up shot - no wax or other product used



I walked into a conversation that two of my restaurant coworkers were having about my mustache.   One of them, whom I will call Mr. Follicle,  was saying how he could never grow a mustache like mine - he just didn't have the genetics.

I could hardly keep a straight face since he is not some smooth-faced cherub, but one of these men who develops a heavy 5 o'clock shadow by noon.  Usually, however, he wears a couple of days growth and clearly he has no lack of facial hair including that on the upper lip.   I jokingly told him that he had more hair on one of his cheeks than I do on my whole body.  I told him that I had virtually no sideburns and whiskers were as common on my cheeks as trees in the Sahara.

Ramblings on thoughts, the goatee, waiter tip income, styling products, and keeping hair out of my mouth.

After the latest goatee trim this morning

Thoughts flooding through my head

I love my mustache ... I hate my mustache ... It is looking great today... It is looking awful ... I am going to shave it off ... I will keep it forever ... I look really stupid ... man, that mustache is awesome ... The left side is corkscrewing and won't hold together ... my right side has a great curl today ... the goatee is staying ... time to shave the goatee ... perhaps I need to just trim the goatee.

Welcome to my thoughts this weekend. As I had every thought and emotion possible regarding the mustache.  I start loathing the difficulty that it is giving me, but suddenly I get hit with a couple of compliments and I love it again.

Two Month Checkup

Unwaxed at two months.

I consider May 10, my mustache birthday. Based upon whisker length, that is when I believe that the tips of my hairs would have emerged, had I been starting from a clean-shaven face.  So that makes today its two-month birthday and here is how two months of growth looks on me - without any product.

Reaction at the Restaurant and Battling Undergrowth

I am having fun with my new look and I like that it is getting attention.  Three times tonight my mustache became the topic of conversation.

Midlife Crisis?

I can only imagine what my wife was going through.  Her husband was turning weird.  A while back he had that strange episode where he took her tape measure and said that he was measuring his mustache.  First he started changing his appearance – growing out his mustache.  Then she found the camera case in the bathroom – her husband was doing something strange.

So she came to the conclusion that made sense:  Her husband was suffering from midlife crisis.  He was not happy and wanted to start changing things.