Thursday, August 29, 2013

The Push, Tuck, and Slide Handlebar Mustache Styling Technique

Styling a handlebar mustache using the Push Tuck Slide method
Styling my mustache using Push, Tuck, and Slide
This animated pictures shows the steps that I use to finger groom my handlebar mustache and get the center looking great.

1.   PUSH:  Using index finger push the hairs at the top of the mustache down towards the lips.  Pushing gives the front of the mustache a "shell" to tuck the lower hairs behind.

2.   TUCK:  Using the thumb, take hairs that extend below the mustache and tuck them up and under the hairs that have been pushed down.  Be aggressive and tuck high under the mustache.  Tucking keeps the hairs out of your mouth.

3.  SLIDE:  At the end of the tuck, use the thumb to slide the tucked hairs and any other hairs in the back of the mustache toward the side of the mustache.  This forms a "pipeline behind the shell" that moves the hairs to the curls making them thicker and fuller.

Start at the center and work towards the ends. Once done, a couple of twirls give nice curls. 

When applying wax or other styling products, coating the tips of the thumbs and adjacent sides of the index fingers and then using this method works to hold everything in place.  But, I find often no product is needed to keep it styled.

Please comment on this post and let me know how this technique works for you.

With a mustache like that you must have a dog

Today's mustache with tips out and just a curled at the very ends.
Just a couple of stories of living with a handlebar mustache.

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Crossing the street at a traffic light I heard "Awesome Mustache!"  a young man shouted from the window of a turning pickup truck with a couple of teenagers inside.

I smiled and waived an OK sign

----
In line with a man at Walmart:

"I just wanted to tell you that you have a terrific mustache"

"Thank you"

"How long have you been growing it?"

"About four months"

"I wish that I could grow one"

"I am sure that you could.  Just let it grow"

It's not that hard guys.  If you can produce a mustache by not shaving, you can grow a handlebar.

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At the steakhouse where I wait tables:

"I am done with my plate" said the customer.

"May I box up the steak so that you can take it with you."

"No, I am just visiting and I don't have a place to put it.  But why don't you take it, you can feed it to your dog ... Surely with a mustache like that, you have a dog"

"I don't have a dog, but if I did, what kind of dog would I have?"

"I would say an Alaskan Malamute"

"Hmm... with a mustache like mine, I though that you would say a Schnauzer"

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At another table spoken by a middle aged woman.

"You look very good in that mustache.  Elegant and dignified"

Monday, August 26, 2013

I like your curls... what do you call them? ... handlebars

Barbershop visit 8-23-2013 before and after
It was time for another haircut - as you can tell by my shaggy appearance on the before side.  At the conclusion my barber asked if I would like anything done with the mustache.  I politely declined thinking that there was nothing that a man with scissors cold do to help it - on second thought, I should have asked him what he had in mind, and then declined.

"It's looking good" he said.  "I like your curls... what do you call them ... handlebars".

At home, my wife noticed my haircut.  "...but he didn't trim your mustache" she said with a disappointed look on her face.

No he didn't.



Wednesday, August 21, 2013

Don't let it get any longer

Is it too long?
At breakfast my wife said to talk to you for a moment about your mustache? I said sure.
 
"Well, don't let it get any longer than it is right now. I don't really like the way it curls up on the ends."
 
I told her that mustaches don't grow forever, that they eventually reach a terminal length unlike a beard which can get much much longer.  I told her that I was probably nearing that length (but I hope not).

Tiger colored mustache

The tiger stripes of the right side of my mustache

As my mustache has gotten longer and I have improved my styling technique (is it ever really mastered?), I have noticed that it has very unique stripes of color. Rather than a random scattering of different colors, there are definite rows of multiple similarly colored hairs. Some are white, others black and some red-orange.  I tried to capture it in the photograph above, but the camera fails to adequate capture the variety of color so I have annotated some of the stripes. 

So, what color is my mustache?  I could say calico, but since the colors are in stripes or red, black and white, I will call it "tiger".

The picture above also shows the beautiful handlebar shape and curl that I am presently achieving with very little effort and no styling products. Additional length makes it easier to style.

Monday, August 19, 2013

Mustache and Trinity necktie knot

Mustache waxed but not curled, and trinity knotted necktie
Last night I styled the mustache with no curl, but not quite an English Style, and also tied the neck tie as a trinity knot.  I can never get anyone to comment on the Trinity knot, but as usual I did get mustache comments.  This was the first time where an acquaintance whom I know pretty well did not immediately recognize me due to the mustache.  Once she did, she said that I looked really good in it.

Saturday, August 17, 2013

Perfect mustache day ... until I shaved

Me and another family member with whiskers
Lately I have been perfecting my styling technique where I use my index finger to push the top of the mustache down in the front, and then use my thumb to tuck the bottom hairs underneath it and slide them towards the ends.  It works very well and I will elaborate on it in a future post.

The night before last, I used this technique while laying in bed after taking a shower.  Well, I yesterday morning I awoke to a beautiful mustache with nice curls on both sides - no styling product or anything..  Oh, it was going to be a glorious mustache day.  Then I shaved and washed my face and all was lost.  While repeating the technique gave me a very nice center, the tips were wonky and no amount of wax or glue could completely fix them.

Today's picture shows no curls - just a gentle sweep, with the mustache behaving just drawn out to the sides with no product.  I am meeting a client shortly, and have not shaved.  Hmmm, do I dare get the mustache wet and face yesterday's debacle?  No,  The client will just have to live with me unshaved this morning - as he is bearded I don't think that this will be a problem.

Thursday, August 15, 2013

Mustache and the Eldridge Knot

Mustache and necktie with Eldridge knot

As mentioned in my last post, I make myself unique among the staff at the restaurant by wearing and awesome handlebar mustache and using fancy knots for my necktie.  Here is how I looked at the restaurant tonight with the mustache in curls and the necktie in an Eldridge knot.

After Sam's rather brutal suggestion that I lose the mustache earlier in the day, I was starting to ask questions of myself.  Does wearing both unusual facial hair and strangely tied neckwear make me look cool or eccentric?  Have I crossed a line to where I am weird and a freak show which cannot be taken seriously? 

Wednesday, August 14, 2013

Lose the mustache


This morning's mustache - au natural - after being told to lose it
 
 
When dropping of a key at another office, Sam who works there saw me from the desk and said, “Is that John with a handlebar mustache?”

“Yes, this is John with a handlebar mustache.”

“Lose the mustache." he frankly said, "It puts you in the league of those who wear ascots and Tam o' Shanters.” (I had to Google these to see what these even were).  “Keep the goatee but lose or trim the mustache?”

Saturday, August 10, 2013

My Three Monthstache

My mustache at three months
If May 10 is the day that I consider to be the start of my mustache, this is how it looks at three months of age. 

Today I used clubman on the center and Firehouse Wacky Tacky on the tips.  When I couldn't get the tips exactly how I wanted, I used glue stick.

Many searches online say that somewhere between three and four months are needed to grow a full handlebar.  If that is the case, I have arrived.

For comparison purposes, here are is how it looked one and two months ago:

One month ago at two months of age
Two months ago at one month of age.

Wednesday, August 7, 2013

Facial recognition software does not recognize me with the new mustache

Screen on my computer after attempting to log in using facial recognition.
The facial recognition feature of my computer thinks that am a different person since I grew my mustache.  Here's the message that I got this morning after attempting to log on using my webcam.

One more try with the waxes - lessons learned

This morning's lightly waxed mustache - what a beaut!
After my previous post, I was just about ready to shove my waxes in bottom drawer and forget about them for a very long time.  But then today came along and, well and with minimal effort and with no styling product, all the forces came together to magically form a beautiful mustache.  Rather then immediately going for the Got2B Glued tube, I decided to give the Firehouse Moustache Wacky Tacky wax another try but just using a really light coat and I ended up with the mustache that you see above which I am quite happy with.

Closeup shot

Monday, August 5, 2013

Frustrated with mustache waxes, loving glues

Today's mustache using Got2B Glued and glue stick
I am getting very frustrated with mustache waxes.  I don't know if it is my technique, the wiry nature of my whiskers, the present length of the hair, or if I just have unrealistic expectations.  Perhaps it's a combination of all of this.

Yesterday I spent about twenty minutes trying to get my mustache to behave using wax.  I was using Firehouse Wacky Tacky - which many claim is the very best wax and having no luck getting the ends to come close to sticking together.  I preheated the tin, and did everything that I was supposed to do.,  Finally my wife started giving me grief hogging the bathroom as we got ready for church so I let it go and decided that it was as good as it was going to get and I was going to have to live with it.  It shouldn't be this difficult.

Friday, August 2, 2013

How are your fabulous mustaches today?

This morning's mustache styled with only a little bit of glue stick just over the lips to keep my mouth clear.

I briefly saw my friend Diane when we were both at the bank today.

"Good morning Diane"

"Good morning John,  How are you and your fabulous mustaches today?"

"We're just fine thanks,  how are you?" as I smiled.

"I'm good too.  I think that it is funny that in England or some other places they say 'mustaches' like if you have two of them.  Maybe one for each side?"

"I have never heard that.  But I know that in Spanish you have 'butts' instead of 'a butt'.  Perhaps it's the same kind of thing."

(Loud laughter):"Have a great day"

"You too.  Bye."

   ---

Any day where I am asked about my "fabulous" mustache or mustaches must be a good day.

Thursday, August 1, 2013

Prussian Mustache

Today I decided to go to the opposite extreme of the day before and wear the mustache with the ends tightly curled.  Among the comments that I received was that looked "very Prussian" with the mustache.
 
I replied by saying "thank you" not knowing if a Prussian appearance was a good thing or not.  Though in the context it would be very unusual to be anything but complimentary.  The conversation then switched to my ancestry and if I was of Prussian decent.
 
When I got home I decided to look up Prussian mustache online to see exactly what one looked like. All I could find was articles stating that Hitler preferred a big "Prussian mustache" to the toothbrush style that he wore, but made the change during World War One to enable him to wear a gas mask with a tight seal.  Thankfully he did not corrupt and permanently destroy this style the same way he did with his iconic mustache even though the articles did show a picture of a young Hitler wearing a handlebar.
 
Beyond that, I still don't know what a Prussian mustache looks like beyond perhaps the way I looked tonight.